sorry, which way? (13.10.06)

Recently, I have noticed a worrying phenomenon occurring in my neck of the woods. Signs, like the one you see pictured, have been appearing everywhere. All pointing to the Dulwich Picture Gallery. Which would be fine – I have nothing against the DPG, in fact, I really rather like it – but for the fact that these enigmatic signs are peppered around South London (it seems that every time I go out in the car I see a new one), and helpful they are not. The furthest afield I have spotted one is at St George's circus. Usefully, this sign points in the general direction of Elephant and Castle, where there are no more signs. And being a large double roundabout with no fewer than 7 exits in total, this kind of scuppers any plans one might have had of being safely ushered from Waterloo to DPG in one flowing, easy movement.

This work of genius is compounded by the fact that (other than the vague sign at St George's Circ) I haven't seen a single sign which points in the right direction... There's one at the corner of Peckham Rye and Nunhead Lane (pictured) which points towards East Dulwich, when in actual fact the DPG is up Barry Road. There's one in the middle of Peckham (for those of you who are local – outside the Kentish Drovers, by the library) which points enigmatically down Rye Lane. Particularly bizarre, given that the sign points the wrong way down a one way street, and the next turning on the right leads straight into the bus garage.

But, above all, there's one at Elephant and Castle, which points in what can only be described as entirely the wrong direction. Again, for the locals, you come up Newington Butts to the South roundabout, and a sign helpfully points towards the South London Tabernacle. Technically, that is the way to the DPG, but only because the laws of the road in this country dictate that you go clockwise round a roundabout. Since you have to take the last exit off that roundabout, the sign would be more helpful pointing in completely the opposite direction.

If you do decide to visit South London, and fancy an injection of culture, I highly highly recommend the DPG. But, for your own sake, look it up on a map and write out the directions before you cross the river - it'll save a lot of angst and confusion in the long run. Trust me. Oh, and for your own sanity, ignore the signs.

(couldn't write a blog about S London culture without a plug for one of my favourite museums - go go go, it's wicked!!)