Schadenfreude (31.08.06)

Old fashioned news... (18.08.06)

Brilliant. I was on the bus in this morning (the 12, for those of devils among you who live in the details) and a group of young lads got on the bus in Peckham, probably aged about 14. After much jostling and hilarity, they eventually squeezed all five of them along the four seats at the back of the bus, and proceeded to have a conversation that had me stowing my book with amusement - they were providing far more entertainment than a paperback ever could. Of everything they said, there were 2 things that stuck in my mind for inclusion in these pages:

The first was, and I quote "Yo mama's so short she tried to commit suicide by throwing herself off the kerb!"

Genius.

But the piece de resistance, uttered by the young man sitting directly behind me next to the window was "Oh, blood, look, it's one of dem old fashioned newpapers innit, dem ones in black an wight, dat dat old geeza in da taxi is reedin'..."

I have to admit to gawping out the window as much as any of his 'bloods' - whereupon I saw a smartly dressed 30 something in the back of a black cab, perusing today's edition of the FT.

It's official. I am no longer "down wit da kids".

More than Perfect? (18.08.06)

Devotees of American comedy (or just of daytime TV) may be familiar with the show "Less than Perfect" - a comedy set in a newscasters office, fronted by Claude Casey (Sara Rue) as the hapless newscaster (Eric Roberts)'s PA.

Sara Rue is known for being voluptuous, curvaceous and beautiful with it. She's a proper gorgeous redhead, with a bit of T&A and plenty of sex appeal.

A friend of mine and I were talking about Less than Perfect today, and couldn't remember her name. So (as one does in this age of technology) she googled her. And we discovered that in the last few months Sara has lost an astounding amount of weight.



Now, she looks AMAZING. But I can't help but hope that she did it for herself, and not for the sake of 'the industry'. I'm really pleased for her, and if this is what she really wants then I say 'good on you, Sara. You looked beautiful then, you look beautiful now'. She should be extremely proud of her acheivement, losing weight is not easy.

On the other hand, I sincerely hope she wasn't made to feel as though she had no choice. We all know the industry is horrible, and really just hope that whatever choices she's made, she's made them for herself.

On the third hand, please, go ahead... that's one fewer curvaceous redhead I'm going to have to go up against when I hit LA (!).

Although, that said, having seen that I did look sheepish at the sandwich counter today and mumbled, "Oh, just a salad for me, please"...

Paris in the fall (16.08.06)

If you only read one album review this month, make it this one

Genius.

Can you spell "Shameless Plug"?

A Temp's Life... (11.08.06)

In the last couple of weeks I have been temping, with middling success, for a number of organisations with whom I always imagined I'd never want to have any association.

Immediately (well, as good as) after leaving the NHS I was called upon to hold the fort for a lovely PA at the Department of Health. In the Commercial Directorate. For those not in the know, they're the ones hell-bent on privatising the NHS. I could say more, but for the fact that a) then I'd have to kill you (or they'd have to kill me - I signed the Official Secrets Act, don't you know... aside - that's much less impressive than it sounds, disappointingly) and b) I don't really know any more. You pick up irritatingly little when you're only there for a couple of weeks, and you understand even less.

Then there was a week of waiting (or, as I like to call it, watching home improvement shows on UKTV Bright Ideas) and suddenly I was summoned to a well known multinational company specialising in fuel. Now, anyone who's ever seen me in my favourite wolly hat can imagine how this sat with my tree-hugging sensibilities. But, where there's a bill, there's a way, and at the end of the day their money is green, even if very little else about them is...

...or so I thought. Turns out that they run the most environmentally cool office I've been in for a long while - they recycle absolutely everything. Even the bins for your lunch waste are multiple, so everythng is divided. Office lighting (for the smaller rooms and meeting rooms) is operated by motion and light sensors. Even the milk at the coffee areas is supplied in single pint cartons, so as to reduce wastage. Every person's desk has a paper recycling tray that gets cleared daily. It's all very sustainable (as far as I can tell). Perhaps I shouldn't judge a company by its industry.

Of course, this doesn't change the fact that part of my handover was instructions of how to charter a private jet. Or that there's a concierge downstairs willing to get my shoes re-heeled, or to pop out to grab me something from Harrods (though not from the sale, darling). But maybe there's just a little bit of me that likes all that corporate thang? Perhaps, deep inside, there's the shadow of an executive whore stamping her foot and demanding to be let out...

One of my perks (as I'll be working late shifts and past 8pm) is a car to take me home each night. Not as amazing as you might think - when I worked at a certain investmant bank in Canary Wharf I got the same thing - work late, get chauffered home. Sorry, what was that? Long hours culture?

It's a different world, isn't it?

Speaking of different worlds, I've been immersing myself in a few in order to pass my time spent in the back of executive limousines. I was really quite enchanted by pre-war Japan, and was suitably diverted by modern day London. The one that I adored, however, defies categorisation - eternal Chicago. And from the sublime to the just plain weird, this is what I'm reading now.

Two-agents Lautrec (02.08.06)

In the inimitable words of the delectable marketers of Guinness, that purveyor of chewy beer extraordinaire, good things come to those who wait.

Don't they just?

Last week I received a phone call, from Accent Bank. I'm now knee deep in people, and officially have two agents!! Perhaps the Tucker star is on the ascendent after all...

Watch this space...

The sweet, sweet sound (27.07.06)

On Thursday 27 July I had the pleasure of working with these lovely people, who worked very hard to record me a new voice demo. They're a really lovely couple, most forthcoming with the tea, and best of all I'm dead chuffed with the results. Judge for yourself by listening to my voice clips here...

Highly recommended.